On true colors

"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." -Maya Angelou

It is almost impossible for us not to judge someone when we meet them for the first time, and after getting to know them we develop some idea of who they might be. But more often than not, this idea we have of them is not really the person they indeed are or claim to be. It is mostly based on our preconceived notions of them.

There are so many factors that contribute to forming an opinion about others, for example, how long you have known them, how much trust you are willing to invest in them, how they handle different situations in life, and so on...

If you see someone dressed in a certain type of way you will automatically make an assumption about who they are. Almost everyone presents themselves in the way that they would like to be perceived by others.

Just as true as the saying "Dress to impress", it is also true that other people behave in a way that can make it obvious for us to notice certain parts about them. Sometimes they would even point it out, communicate and express it in an obvious form themselves.

It’s easy to be clouded by feelings. It’s easy to allow ourselves to be clouded by what they look like, how they sound, what their style is, etc. Most of us want to trust people and give them an opportunity and the more they match our profile of what a good person is, the harder it will be to ever believe they are something else.

What is too much, and what is too little? That’s your personal call. And just like always, it is a question of balance. Scrutinizing someone when you first meet them, thinking about how long should they be on "secret probation" in your mind while trying to decide whether they are who you hope or think that they actually are, it all depends on your nature and how often you have trusted and been burned.

We all have to decide on our own lines and where to draw them, those too are to be questioned and most probably will change over time, and even from person to person. We all have different levels of tolerance for unwanted or unwelcome behavior and different definitions of what that could be. But overall, we all draw the line somewhere.

Being attentive and observant, limiting our exposure, and being open yet skeptical about viewing explanations helps us weed out those who want to take advantage of us and keep the ones who have our best interest at heart, only then we can more quickly reward those we believe in, and cut loose the ones we don’t.