On outgrowing things

Remember those shoes you had when you were five years old, the ones you went to sleep in and refused to take off even for a second because of how much you liked them and the feeling they brought to you?

Recently I got a baby cactus plant as a gift from a dear friend of mine. It is my first time owning and having to take care of a plant. The pot it came in was tiny considering the size of its contents at that moment, there were four baby cacti and a large one, and I didn't want to depot it immediately because of how cute the pot it came in was. I tried to take care of it in the best way I possibly knew how to and could. Day in and day out, the plant kept growing, up until a point where the tiny pot couldn't fit it. But throughout the growing process, I noticed that one of the baby cacti (let's call it Baby G) was getting a yellow color to it and it was feeling and looking a bit sick. Then I decided that it was time to finally transfer the babies to another pot. But it was too late for Baby G because by that time there was nothing I could do to bring it back to life.

Now back to your shoes, if you had kept them for a bit longer, would you have been able to wear them comfortably now that you are 29? Your answer would most likely be NO. You will reach a certain age (or foot size) where you are going to have to throw them away, donate them to some charity, or if you are such a sentimental person, you might want to keep and pass them down to your kids.

The same thing goes for human relationships, whether they are romantic or platonic based, there might come a point in life when you and your friend, romantic partner, or colleague would run into some situations where you would figure out that your values no longer align or that one of you is withholding the other from developing into the person they want to and aspire to be.

For so long it has been a very unpopular opinion to outgrow things and people mainly because it is an unpleasant feeling to admit, and sometimes you might feel ashamed to even acknowledge the fact so you just hang on to those relationships out of obligation and courtesy.

Outgrowing isn't only exclusive to clothes, shoes, or relationships. Sometimes we outgrow an old version of ourselves. As we go through life we experience different things and our mindset may go through shifts every now and then, we tend to be so hellbent on bringing that version back that we don't think it might be for the best that we lost it in the first place.

Growing is making room for new opportunities and more enriching life experiences. It is room for more. An abundance we should embrace instead of feeling ashamed of it. Be gentle and kind enough to yourself and allow it to flourish.